


The conductor is begging me

by Pollarize



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Recovery, nothing bad, two happy boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 19:30:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7858201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pollarize/pseuds/Pollarize
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Cause baby, I've got symphonies running through my head that you will never understand,"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The conductor is begging me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [addictinthetrees](https://archiveofourown.org/users/addictinthetrees/gifts).



> inspired by the song ["I Constantly Thank God For Esteban](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSLBRvv0_0w)

Sometimes Josh couldn’t believe that the smiling boy sitting next to him was real.    
  


They were quick to make friends, even when Tyler was a little lost in thought, his eyes getting distant every so often and that small smile fitting itself on Tyler’s lips. Josh would call his name a few times and Tyler would blink rapidly, focusing on Josh again.

 

“Sorry, what were you saying?” He would ask, grinning when Josh smiled, shook his head, and repeated himself. It was always the same.

 

“Sorry, what did you say?” But Josh didn’t mind. How could he mind? WHerever Tyler went in his own head seemed happy, seemed beautiful with the way it never failed to leave Tyler with a loopy grin on his face.

 

Josh was over at his house one day, beating Tyler at MarioKart for the first time ever as Tyler spaced out again, his hands twitching briefly on the controller like they wanted to do something.

 

“Tyler?” He asked hesitantly, reaching out to touch his best friend's shoulder. Tyler turned to him, his eyes and mind still somewhere else but he smiled and leaned into the touch.

 

He hummed a tune and Josh realized that Tyler was lost in music.   
  
Later that night he asked Tyler about it. The boy got nervous, scratching at the back of his neck. 

 

“You gotta promise you won’t make fun of me,” he said quietly, looking to the sheets on the bed where they were sitting. Josh nodded hesitantly, frowning for a moment at the thought of what others had made fun of Tyler for. 

 

Tyler started listing off diagnoses from doctors and professionals, labels of what was wrong with him. He rattled off prescription names like they were a lover’s name and Josh’s heart sunk. He couldn’t believe that the smiling boy in front of him had dealt with such things.

 

“They say it’s a side effect of some of the pills, that it makes it hard for me to focus for long periods of time. They say that it’s easy for me to get lost in my own head and forget about the outside world but I don’t mind.” Josh quirked an eyebrow, his curiosity peaked now.

 

“You don’t want to be in the real world,” he said. It was a statement but Tyler ignored that fact and answered as if it was a question.

 

“Sometimes I don’t. I like being here when I’m with you but when you aren’t there, things are so negative. I’d hear bits of the news or a rumor at school and everything is always negative, negative, negative. Who would want to live like that?” He asked, raising how own eyebrows back at Josh who rolled his eyes but felt flattered none the less that Tyler liked being with him.

 

“Fair point but you just listed off reasons of why your head is a worse place to be,” he said softly, his thoughts spinning as he thought of the fact that Tyler could be in a losing battle with the demons in his head. When he looked up, Tyler was grinning. The boy shook his head.

 

“That’s where you’re wrong, Josh. It’s a side effect of the happy pills they force down my throat. I don’t hear my demons anymore. It’s like a symphony. One that I get to control. There’s always music and sometimes it’s slow and sweeping and the melody sounds haunting but other times it’s upbeat and it makes me want to dance. Josh, it’s so beautiful, I wish you could hear,” he said, his eyes lighting up with something that Josh didn’t quite understand. Passion, maybe, something strong and powerful. Josh remembered the humming and wondered if that was a song he had been conducting in his own head.

 

“My therapist says I need to stop losing myself in my head. He says it’s dangerous to be so far off. He says one day the music will stop and I’ll have trouble finding myself in the real world and I’ll be stuck with the monsters again.” It was the first time he’d seen Tyler look so sad and broken since they had met. He shrugged and looked away from Tyler.

 

“Therapists don’t know shit. If you find happiness in your music, I know you do, then go be a conductor. You’re always smiling when you get far away, I don’t see how that’s bad. Come back to the real world and write it down. Share the beautiful and tragic melodies with me,” he said, watching with pride as the smile returned to Tyler’s face. He launched himself across the bed, crashing into Josh as they hugged. 

  
“Thank you so much for being so kind. I’m gonna make music for you, just you wait.”


End file.
